Going Home. part deux.

They say you can never go home again.

After nearly two years in the mid-coast of Maine I decided it was time to go again.
I felt I'd landed there only to gather and take a break. Never my choice, but a choice made for me, I loved the sea and the beautiful forest surrounding. After two years, I still find myself longing for a place to call home.

The idea of a winter with no snow or darkness, plus sun and surf lured me in, along with the grand potential for a job. In the past couple years I have become very adept at gathering my belongings and living out of a duffel bag. This current move happened in 2 days, and I have found myself back in a place I haven't lived for 15+ years.

This past week has been pretty intense. The looming thought that a life cannot be created over night and how much time it actually takes to earn a place to call home has been on the forefront.

Old thoughts and experiences have surfaced in my dreams, and I have been struggling with my choice. Was this in my plan? Was this anything I ever dreamed of? No. Moving back south was never a thought. But one thing I do know, is that when something is not working, try something else.

I came across an interesting interview with Rhianna the other day that has sat with me. Yeah, Rhianna. Amazing where little answers can be found. When asked about her struggles and how she got through, she responded, "My friends and family were phenomenal. But there comes a point when it is just you. And that is when you get to know God."

I have known this firsthand to only be true. This past week has been spent in much prayer and meditation. I have a desire to let time give time. Time has been such an amazing gift for me. When I think of where I was two years ago and where I am now, I am not completely satisfied, but feel blessed. The path is not clear yet. I still miss my home. Very much. But as time goes on, I find myself coming closer to another vision and another idea of what it is I want. The home I think of is no longer my home. It is up to me to find another. I have been on this path for awhile now.

This in-between finds me grateful, thankful. Anxiety no longer exists for me. I breathe freely. God has stood by my side through and through. His plan for me is not yet clear, but it is working.

I'm not sure one can go home? But I feel I am working toward making a home I have not known for a long while now. With that I feel free.

Her ways are of pleasantness and all her paths are peace. ..